#412: How To Set These Kids Straight
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
people, put, good, days, kids, shit, podcast, fuck, high school musical, hearing aids, dude, watch, pie, minutia, infinity pool, love, give, cake, fan, big
SPEAKERS
Speaker 1 (63%), Eric (29%), Sweat (5%), Speaker 3 (<1%), Speaker 2 (<1%)
1
Speaker 1
0:00
sweat equity podcasts and streaming show the number one comedy business podcast in the world now remember works pragmatic entrepreneurial advice with real raw don't
Eric Readinger
0:11
also never work.
1
Speaker 1
0:15
We got Nathan Lynn Creek Lane cry la NCR why? Tell us maybe he'll tell us when we get to it. Listen to us on iTunes, Apple podcast Spotify, I apologize for my style Tennessee voice. I sound all stuffy if there's anything more emasculating than getting knocked out by sinus migraines I don't know what there is. Do roofers get it? I don't think so.
Eric Readinger
0:41
Answer hurting this episode
1
Speaker 1
0:44
of sweat equity is sponsored by we're gonna go with a couple of sponsors this time we got Squarespace all in one drag and drop no programming necessary but programming if you want to do custom code website creator stuff hit the link in our episode description for free trial hooks this show up a little bit what what what what also sponsored by call rail. You got some nice things to say about Colorado really cool.
Eric Readinger
1:16
You want to have a cost railing on them called Thoreau call
SE
Sweat Equity Guest
1:19
swap number on your website track every call get it recorded. Get that data understand where all your leads are coming in from with call rail. Link will be in the episode description if you want to be our BFS subscribe to the pod rate us five star write a little review in share share share it share it share it share it with a stupid these guys are let's get this party started Hi
2:13
listening to the sweat equity podcast
2:18
way we go without a guest
Eric Readinger
2:21
Yeah. No showed whoever was an intro. I forgot his name.
1
Speaker 1
2:27
Lynn Lynn Creek land Cree. And I was firing listeners.
Eric Readinger
2:31
Gotcha.
1
Speaker 1
2:33
Well, you know, usually we record the intro after the episode but you know, to be efficient. We're just sitting here and you're like, let's get let's knock this thing out.
Eric Readinger
2:44
Right? Why? Why try?
2:47
That's what you get for trying to
Eric Readinger
2:51
walk. Yeah. What's the point?
1
Speaker 1
2:53
Let me see if he's emailed us. No. Here's my thing with like, I was talking to someone about punctuality and how I need to get better about
Eric Readinger
3:06
sorry, that's like the intro for grandpa talk. Go
1
Speaker 1
3:09
ahead, punks. No. Punctuality is important. The only people that would snore at that are people that are late a lot and think it's not a big deal. And they're the ones that perpetually from time on time. I'm just saying in general, like the show, if anything, it's about breaking down the minutiae of things. That's
Eric Readinger
3:24
true, very, very much so and put like what even is that word minutia? Sounds like a bodily function.
1
Speaker 1
3:32
I don't know someone used it writing about my comedy in a creative loafing article. And I was like, Cool. That's that's how you describe a comedy now.
Eric Readinger
3:42
Pile of minutia.
1
Speaker 1
3:43
It's like what's been new yay. New. I don't speak Haitian. Okay. What's it called? It's the punctuality thing. I don't mind if people are late, and they just go, Hey, I'm running five minutes late.
Eric Readinger
3:58
Right? I don't know.
SE
Sweat Equity Guest
3:59
I don't mind if you can't make an appointment that you made. But you know, try to let the person know. We've had two guests booked by podcast Booker's that have just no showed. I think the last two times
Eric Readinger
4:14
yeah. That's what happened last week.
1
Speaker 1
4:17
Yeah, well, that. Yeah, that too. But it's also like, could you know it's on the calendar. You guys reached out
Eric Readinger
4:27
to us, right. Google Calendar is amazing. You can do so much with it. It's wonderful to zoom link right in the calendar. You know that?
1
Speaker 1
4:35
It's one thing if we got like Hulk Hogan to come on as a guest so we reached out to him, man, that'd be sweet. And we're like Terry, thank you so much. Oh, Cogan
Eric Readinger
4:45
drop.
1
Speaker 1
4:46
We can't wait to see you brother. We can't wait to see you and you know,
Eric Readinger
4:52
take over my voice brother.
4:55
We will talk about Bubba the love sponge.
Eric Readinger
4:58
Man you I do not know how to do not disturb works.
1
Speaker 1
5:02
I don't know that. That's funny. I just watched you put it on. Yeah, you
Eric Readinger
5:05
said you're like do this one is that I was like, oh, okay, I'm stupid. You also need to turn off alright guys did after the dad debacle the last time you got
1
Speaker 1
5:14
to go to your that was just for any everything Airplane Mode numbers. Numbers you don't know you got to turn the setting off for that in general on your iPhone, go to settings go to phone and then turn it off. Got it? I don't I don't I get all these scam calls. It's bullshit that we live in a society where all people are just like, Yeah, your data just gets scooped up. What are you gonna do? You're like, this should be illegal.
Eric Readinger
5:42
These are things I didn't say grandpa talk. Yeah,
1
Speaker 1
5:44
I do. Oh, you don't think this show is gonna head to grandpa time
3
Speaker 3
5:48
doing live? I can write it and we'll do it live to you.
1
Speaker 1
5:51
I'm gonna be a staunch Republican dude. It's gonna be awesome. All right. I'm gonna wear big balloons
Eric Readinger
5:56
forming right before our eyes.
1
Speaker 1
5:59
In kids these days, they don't wear pants the way they're supposed to. So what? They're supposed to wear their britches all the way up to the belly button. What and what? From what I see what pivot? No, I just I have no, like deadbeat dads in America. I got no love for people that are constantly late. Or people that can't make something and then don't tell you. I
Eric Readinger
6:28
mean, eventually they're going to do genetic studies on all this shit. And they'll figure it out. It's gotta be genetic, like a thing that you just don't have that internal. That internal awareness.
1
Speaker 1
6:41
Yeah, I would, you know? Yeah, it's just weird. I don't think of twins in my life. That one's punctual ones not. And good luck with that. I have one of my head for sure.
Eric Readinger
6:53
The second one is definitely going to be the late one. Yeah, I don't know it came outside.
1
Speaker 1
6:57
I'm not sure which one came out of the cooter first, but one's definitely punctual and one isn't.
Eric Readinger
7:04
Right. The first one.
1
Speaker 1
7:06
Yeah, or maybe it was early. I don't know. I'm just like, even better. I don't give a fuck if I sound like an old man. Honestly, if you're like, there it is the 15 Minute
Eric Readinger
7:15
Mission complete.
SE
Sweat Equity Guest
7:18
The 15 minutes early or late rule is great, especially in a day and age when you have everything on your phone, where you can if you have to sit there for 10 minutes before Sunday.
Eric Readinger
7:30
Now, I'm going to Sega Genesis in your hands.
1
Speaker 1
7:33
Now I will give you the inverse of that. I hate false appointment times. Go to the dentist. They go we got to you have to be there at this time or the doctor and you're like, why the fuck am I sitting in the lobby for an hour?
Eric Readinger
7:48
They're really behind today. Really. That's every time
1
Speaker 1
7:52
you know what, you know, I've noticed a lot to Lyft and Uber. Those estimates are fucking egregiously off. I'm almost getting to the point where I'm gonna start timing it right when I hit it.
Eric Readinger
8:04
Because I'm gonna make a spreadsheet.
1
Speaker 1
8:06
It's lying to me. I don't like it lying to me. Because it'll be like you got you got seven minutes. I'm like, Oh, I can get a quick shower in and get dressed and get out. Right? And then I'm, I'm sweating.
Eric Readinger
8:17
Yep. Then you're in your house sweating.
1
Speaker 1
8:19
I'm sweating trying to get everything together during that thing. We're, you're, you're going quickly, but it doesn't really shave off a lot of time. It just burning more calories,
Eric Readinger
8:30
suppresses your body temp. It's like,
1
Speaker 1
8:32
it's kind of like the feeling when you wake up. You miss the alarm? Or the alarm didn't go off for what forever reason. And you got a flight and you're like, oh, shit, I gotta do everything.
Eric Readinger
8:44
And you realize how much time you spent dicking around. All right, oh, this is done this.
1
Speaker 1
8:48
If I if I just took it casually, you'd probably get me out the door the same amount of time. But, you know, I don't want to be late. But my thing is like, I hate the fault. Like you have to do this with friends that are late to or people you work with. And business wise,
Eric Readinger
9:06
like your friends have a special time that you give them. Yeah,
1
Speaker 1
9:09
I gotta do this dumb math for them. Right? It's the people that put their clocks 15 minutes ahead. Exactly. I'm like, what? I know, how does this help you?
Eric Readinger
9:19
Your life is a lie. Time is a lie to you because
1
Speaker 1
9:23
I had one of my best friends does this and I'm like, what? I'm like, fuck, dude, what he's like, I know, I'm just helps me out. I'm like, but you're always doing the math. You always know, adding a math problem into it. And then when you look at another clock, that's if you've looked at your watch, and then looked at a clock on the wall, there's Alliance minutes later, it's always a discrepancy. That's wrong. And he's like, Well works for me. And I'm like, Okay, well, you're not late. So I don't care. You do your own retarded method, but I feel like you have to do but when you have to do the math of like, Okay, we're gonna have a family dinner, and then we got to kind of lie to a handful of them. To make sure you know, it's actually 30 minutes later.
Eric Readinger
10:04
Yeah, you know, we're eating at this time, but not really gonna start cooking at that time.
SE
Sweat Equity Guest
10:10
Only to get into Andy Rooney territory here. And another thing. Yeah, everybody's busy. Everyone's busy is also busy. Everyone's so busy. It's like, pitch. I know you're not busy. It just feels that way, because you're doing a lot of shit on your phone. And it's distracting. Not really busy right now. Right? Like, if it feels like you're doing something that's that's the feeling like, when people are like, you know, Oh, you don't look at Tech Talk. I'm like, I'll post clips on there. And then I, as soon as it's uploaded, I like your outfit out. I exit the app. And it's like, I because the number one thing people have told me about it is like, it's so addicting. And I'm like, I don't need that. Right. I don't need another thing in my life to
Eric Readinger
10:57
selectively leave to tick tock and get your hours and put
1
Speaker 1
11:01
in that weird. Have you ever heard like most people when they talked about tick tock just in your personal life? And they're like, so I am on it so much. Yeah.
Eric Readinger
11:09
It's cool for me when I because I have it. I have it on my phone. But it's Avery's my daughter's and just to see the videos and as I go on, and there's like 10 New videos on there dancing. I'm like, What the hell? Out of nowhere. Yeah, first I have to be I had to review these now. Make sure they're okay. And all this what?
11:32
There was 30 minutes here your time? Yeah.
Eric Readinger
11:35
I have to slave to tick tock for different reasons. You're
1
Speaker 1
11:38
having to do QC. That's crazy. I didn't think about that. I want to get
Eric Readinger
11:44
She's nice. She's good. She's not doing anything crazy. More stuff. Like she's oblivious. How many lyrics that she doesn't know what they mean?
1
Speaker 1
11:52
Well, how many times have you been shown a dance video and you're like, and they're like, you don't think this is cool? And I might not know, choreographed dance is like it's very low for me. Because you can't do it. No, I just don't think it's that interesting. Like, Chinese Olympics. Sure. Though, those those guys. You don't remember the Olympics in China? Well, there's
Eric Readinger
12:16
a king of choreography, right? Because they like
12:21
it. It's only as
Eric Readinger
12:22
good as many people as they can. Right gathered up and they will do the exact same shit. It's only
1
Speaker 1
12:27
Yeah, it's only interesting because there's so many of them doing the exact same thing at the exact same time. Right? But it's not. It's like, Oh, y'all
Eric Readinger
12:35
kick your legs up in the air like that.
1
Speaker 1
12:37
But at best, it's like, that's kind of neat. Okay, what else is on? People show me lip synching videos and choreographed dances like I give a fuck. And I'm like the lip syncing is so I'm almost a 40 year old man. Right? give a fuck about and my daughter was trying to show me High School Musical among fire today. I was riff. Yeah, maybe I haven't talked to an adult all day. So this is what happens here. Dude, my daughter that out. My daughter is watching High School Musical. And she's like, this great. She's five now. So
Eric Readinger
13:12
I have to put her in place. This is not great. Honey.
1
Speaker 1
13:15
I go dad. I just got home. I told her am I in this is right to nudity is I'm getting a sinus migraine. And I'm like, I don't I don't care about anything right now except for this going away. And she's like in this great. I'm like I hon dads don't like High School Musical.
Eric Readinger
13:34
Don't ask Mr. Eric.
1
Speaker 1
13:36
I was like no ask anybody out Mr. Paul. Any of dad's friends. They won't say Mr. The first name. They hate it. Yeah. They don't like it. If they really like it. Beware of that. Right?
13:47
I love
Eric Readinger
13:51
it's not that there's anything wrong.
1
Speaker 1
13:53
And she was showing me part of it. And she was like, I was like, I've never been to a high school party. I've never heard of a high school party that has 100 kids in a pool. Right? With. It's like an infinity pool.
Eric Readinger
14:06
I'm gonna I'm gonna take a huge swing here. I'm gonna guess there was a dance fight that happened.
1
Speaker 1
14:11
Oh, I didn't even get to that. I just did like, I was just pointing it out and laughing to myself. You know, the dad. Kind of like you point stuff out to your kids. Like they don't get why it's funny that they laugh because you're laughing. I'm like, I've never seen a high school party. With with this many kids without people fighting. Like real. Yes. I've never seen I've never seen a party. This girl's crying. It's during the day. There is an infinity pool there at a mansion, essentially. Of course. There's an infinity pool that goes out to a desert. There's no fence to this house, I guess. It's like, it's like a recipe development home or they just made one. Right? And there's no backyard. It just goes into southern Valley, Arizona, I guess I don't know. And then there's a band A full band playing. Like, like the Zack Attack from Saved by the Bell Sure.
Eric Readinger
15:06
Every high schools got one of those,
1
Speaker 1
15:09
like, full band right on the edge of the pool. Like if the stage was just made for this moment. jammin out and all the kids are into it. Could you imagine that's an even if you got a full band, you'd be out next to a pool party in high school.
Eric Readinger
15:24
All it takes is one drunk asshole. One guy,
15:26
there's easily what is his power cord? Yeah.
1
Speaker 1
15:31
Yeah, either someone like trips overseas over and puts their head into the drumkit.
Eric Readinger
15:36
Right? Or electrocutes the entire party with, you know, some sort of cool thing
1
Speaker 1
15:41
or how we grew up or like, bunch of kids from the other side of town come over, or we or the other kids from the other side of town or, and you're just throwing crap at the band? Yeah, for no reason, because you're just like, I don't like them. They're different.
Eric Readinger
15:55
I got punched in the face one time. I went to a king high school party and I wasn't supposed to be there. Did you really? Yeah. Just I was sitting there too. And I was like,
16:04
what? Sucker Punch drunk? Yeah,
Eric Readinger
16:06
big time.
16:08
Let's write this down.
Eric Readinger
16:10
And it was the first time I was ever hanging out with my high school girlfriend.
16:13
King is the it's pretty good. It's the back of the
Eric Readinger
16:16
public school. I would have gone to bed or not gone to Tampa Catholic.
16:20
Well, I remember doing track meets there and being like,
Eric Readinger
16:23
oh, man, they are way faster than us.
1
Speaker 1
16:26
I can help I can hold my own in the 200. That's all I got. But like, I was definitely like, this is scary. I hope my dad shows up. Yeah, watch the track me. I never want my parents to come to these things. But I definitely didn't like it security. Yeah. Wow, just sucker punch like that. Yeah.
Eric Readinger
16:44
And then it was like, cuz tuckered Rush Hour, which one of y'all kicked me? Just like what happened? Like standing up center, like, get the fuck out. Okay.
1
Speaker 1
16:57
Have you seen those knockout videos of people? The kids doing that? Speaking of tick tock glory?
Eric Readinger
17:03
I mean, I've seen of them. It's but I'm not out seeking that
1
Speaker 1
17:07
vial. Yeah, I feel like you and I probably get it. We get it by osmosis. Somehow someone shows it to us. All right, that put it up to your face. We've seen it
Eric Readinger
17:18
like news stories or report it or news outlets.
1
Speaker 1
17:21
That's That's crazy. But I feel like that's, I don't know if it's again, we talked about this on the show. Like is it access to information do we have or is it because the ability to video or capture it? People are doing it more?
Eric Readinger
17:37
Yeah. No, I think there's definitely an element of that. The social media is not helping it for sure. I mean, what are they putting that on?
1
Speaker 1
17:47
Yeah, bumble, my Republican
Eric Readinger
17:50
Social Work fan
17:53
livelite Probably
Eric Readinger
17:56
Worldstar but there's just fucked up. That's just just evil. Because it's always an old person. Yeah, they're always going after people who aren't going to fight back I want the one that may be knocking out a six foot six guy
1
Speaker 1
18:13
I watch what made me like tear up almost because the guy like got wailed in the back of the head. And he fell down. You know, when the guys get knocked out, they fall down without bracing themselves can just hit and hitting his head on the concrete dude of the sidewalk could be worse than the actual punch.
Eric Readinger
18:30
I mean, like that's sort of like if they get attempted murder charges and like an idiot don't do that shit. Like go to jail for 20 years now. You should huh? Kids these days? What else do they do that stupid?
1
Speaker 1
18:47
Well, they're doing the same protect me. I mean, they've been doing this for a while or they're just strong arm like a Burger King. They just get like free kids to go in there without weapons and destroy all our
Eric Readinger
18:56
right they go back there make their own milkshakes and steal money.
18:59
Still register.
Eric Readinger
19:02
I have a way better more positive view. Is you robbing their assets? I thought they were having like a birthday party like oh shit. They're
19:12
getting free fries.
Eric Readinger
19:13
You guys. You guys sit down. We're making food for you. Oh,
1
Speaker 1
19:17
mama. Yeah, shy rack dude still around? Yeah.
Eric Readinger
19:23
Yep. Anything other in the summer?
1
Speaker 1
19:25
Well, anything you've got. That's a lot of ranting. Yeah. About I've got I've got a little some, but it's not not business related at all.
Eric Readinger
19:36
Have you ever had like a prospective vendor for like a software application where they're super insecure.
1
Speaker 1
19:49
Like they're pitching? They're doing the sales pitch on you for their SaaS product probably. Yeah. Service or software as a service. Yeah, people don't know the acronym.
Eric Readinger
19:58
Yes. And I had one recently that was like, literally after every slide. What do you think of
20:06
the product so far? Oh, they're really insecure, huh?
Eric Readinger
20:08
Literally, I was like, it is still good. The more benefits and features you show me, the better it gets. Can I just stop answering how good it is? Because it was like she asked it as though it was like the first time she asked it.
20:27
So she's, maybe you've talked to AI? Maybe you didn't even know.
Eric Readinger
20:31
knows really you in person? How do you know? It was over zoom call? Okay, we're gonna play that game.
1
Speaker 1
20:38
I mean, what is what is reality? It sounds like they don't have like a sales script. I'm guessing or if they do it. Oh, I
Eric Readinger
20:45
think it's a bit too much. scripty Oh, really? Yeah. Well, it was fun, because it was like, an entire meeting about what it does. And then the next meeting is about pricing.
1
Speaker 1
20:57
Your two meetings? For one? Yes. That's wild.
Eric Readinger
21:00
And they had to take so much information about what my needs are. And all this shit and it was just like, Okay,
1
Speaker 1
21:07
are you sure she wasn't doing kind of a pre product feedback? Kind of thing going on? Like she's trying to do market research during the meeting? Almost.
Eric Readinger
21:19
Oh, I'm sure that's what it is. Okay, yeah. But like, then they hit you with the price and it's like, absurd. Yeah, we're to avoid or I was like, what kind of thing it was a learning management system.
1
Speaker 1
21:36
Like to walk employees through stuff, right. Okay. Yeah. Which there's a lot of a lot of them out there. There's it's a fucking big project to start right for everybody has an open
Eric Readinger
21:48
source one. It's called Moodle. Mo D L II.
1
Speaker 1
21:52
What was the one you put together? Walk walk me. Like three years ago, four years ago? No,
Eric Readinger
21:58
it started with D decent. It was like a weird it was didn't out remember the name being anything having to do with way it was just a weird name for it. What was it
1
Speaker 1
22:08
doesn't matter. Did that crazy? You spent a lot of time on that project logged
Eric Readinger
22:11
into it every day looking at the stupid screen like we have
22:15
digital dementia. Yes. Yeah.
Eric Readinger
22:18
But yeah, it was so odd.
1
Speaker 1
22:22
Yeah, I don't, I don't have to take as many of those calls in, like, last year, at least. But I'll occasionally take one if they have a good like LinkedIn message that seems legit or throw me like a weird kind of challenge. Yeah.
Eric Readinger
22:38
Right. You bet are becoming hard on LinkedIn. Because me, too, the amount of like, spam, that's just so like, it's like, why are you guys doing that? I left a message, every new connection.
1
Speaker 1
22:51
I was sick last Tuesday, Wednesday, I was just fully out for two days. And like, I had 40. I was like, I guess I checked this a lot more than I realized just to mark them as read. But I had 40 messages just from the two days.
Eric Readinger
23:07
Oh, I have to keep up with it. Well, I have to. Well, it is like that two days, I'll get 40
1
Speaker 1
23:14
Part of it. It's funny to me. That's why I like looking at him. I'm like, and sometimes we're medical
Eric Readinger
23:18
doctors from India turned down promote my podcast.
1
Speaker 1
23:21
Well, there's those guys. Then there's like, sometimes I just like being shitty. And replying and like how well is this working for you? Right? When they put your entire like business name in the field? In the heart of the message I've been
Eric Readinger
23:38
checking out, fill in the blank. Well, I'm really impressed with your results.
1
Speaker 1
23:42
I made total Karaca the agency the the company page, I made it super long kind of on purpose for that. It's it's I talk about b2b b2c SMB business advisory an omni channel marketing agency, and I'll just see that in the message like they don't even they can't I mean, they're just doing volume. It's just a numbers game,
Eric Readinger
24:05
right? I don't know should make a list of top offenders.
1
Speaker 1
24:13
That that's the other thing is like it's not the ones I love the most are the ones that do this site thing to get your insecurity. They're like hey, did you Did you read my last message like shit like that
Eric Readinger
24:28
right? What's the matter? You don't want to have better results.
1
Speaker 1
24:32
What other like this is gonna be the last time I message you. If you look at the messages like five right answer. Yeah, I'm like, sir, I bet this works but I don't know on who?
Eric Readinger
24:47
The week, LinkedIn weak.
1
Speaker 1
24:50
And I get a lot of law firm marketing stuff because my name is law on like they don't even realize But yeah, I'm like, I'm your competitor. Actually. I want to be like do you think I want to talk to your manager? I want to go carried on you I had fun. I would would you rather for you? That book stinks. Did
Eric Readinger
25:21
I know well the problem with it is you got to sift through it. There's like a gym every couple of pages but is there sure there is. What?
1
Speaker 1
25:35
How about how about I think we did this one. I told you Corolla was putting out there for a while. Would you rather have Would You Rather bang? A seven? Or have a threesome with a combined? I think it was 11. So it could be a one and a 10?
Eric Readinger
26:05
The seven? Alright, what
1
Speaker 1
26:07
if I clicked that up to that? Up to 14? Wait up to 13
26:12
Find a good one. And maybe it was eight and 13.
26:15
Something like that. All right.
Eric Readinger
26:18
Cover your food and gravy or cheese?
1
Speaker 1
26:20
God Damn, dude. I know. I think that's for kids.
Eric Readinger
26:24
This is what we get. What was that guy's name wouldn't show up. Look at me. I'm sick. Nathan, Nathan will increase
1
Speaker 1
26:30
free. Here's the deal. If you do I like would you rather are hypotheticals? When I'm at something that's like a dinner party. That's really boring. Yeah, I like to just be the weird guy and just kind of let's throw it out there.
Eric Readinger
26:48
Would you rather have your plants or your goldfish talk to you?
Eric Readinger
26:56
Probably plants because they're gonna last longer. Interesting. Now somebody's got abandonment issues. Well go how long a goldfish last? I'd never had them last longer than a week doesn't matter. Your reasoning is what
1
Speaker 1
27:15
holds? Right that's what makes it an interesting kind of icebreaker. If you're at a boring thing now the best would you rather if you can get him to go on either side.
Eric Readinger
27:27
Your your Vegas line maker, right?
1
Speaker 1
27:30
Woohoo. Good call. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, my favorite. for about 20 years. Would you rather have balls for ears? Or for nose?
Eric Readinger
27:41
Yeah. Everybody, most men go balls for ears. I think maybe because they don't want the dick. Almost going in their mouth or something? No, it's think about that.
27:52
No, it's your deck. It's just a duplicate deck.
Eric Readinger
27:56
I still don't want my own dick in my mouth. It's only gonna
27:58
go in your mouth. It'll you know what? You got it like a hanger?
Eric Readinger
28:05
What if you go rock climbing? Well, here's my flop. And
1
Speaker 1
28:10
I'll toss this right back at you. How greater sneezes already.
Eric Readinger
28:17
I mean, the accuracies got to be improved.
28:20
Oh, yeah, yeah, you'll figure it out.
Eric Readinger
28:22
I mean, go from a shotgun to a sniper rifle.
1
Speaker 1
28:24
But how amazing. We'd be like, I need a whole bounty roll paper towel roll. I'm about to sneeze everywhere.
Eric Readinger
28:33
Yeah, but why would why would there be more sneeze? stuff?
28:39
Hey, man, why would there be more surpasses point.
Eric Readinger
28:43
I mean, I'm thinking it's the same amount. It just comes out differently.
1
Speaker 1
28:46
No, no, no, no, not in this scenario. Okay. You basically
Eric Readinger
28:50
just everywhere. Okay, that's what you wanted to get to. I
1
Speaker 1
28:52
see. And the Oh, and the balls are old man balls. So they're savvy. You can't hide them. Okay, they're really long.
Eric Readinger
28:59
But you could like grow your ponytail out and use it to like, tie up your hair.
1
Speaker 1
29:04
Yeah, you could tility you could that that, you know, that's never been a variable thrown in there. I like to ask people what have couples fought over the most in history? The temperature of the room? Or how to do the dishes correctly?
Eric Readinger
29:26
Yeah, definitely the temperature. That one That one's
1
Speaker 1
29:29
5050. Yeah. Over really sample size. Yeah. Wait, that
Eric Readinger
29:34
question is Yeah.
1
Speaker 1
29:36
Most people go balls for years on the other one, but yeah, because we got to remember, you're taking your stuff down to the river to wash it off back in the day before. And then now we have we have a saint to wash dishes in. Wash the dishwasher is kind of just a neat bonus but All right. Don't really need to do it. It just takes the fucking watermarks off. Yep. If you're lucky. Right. Right. But, I mean, every couple is thought about how to like, load it correctly.
Eric Readinger
30:14
Yeah. And I get that I'm just thinking, Do you have a chart of constantly changing? You know, like, especially when you can get fired
30:24
up very can be a pre menopausal hot flashes and stuff. That when you're dealing with
Eric Readinger
30:36
this I don't understand how it couldn't be a temperature. You know? Yeah, they were doing they had fires before they were doing dishes. Yeah, but turn the fire. Wow, you
1
Speaker 1
30:47
couldn't do much either. Like you'd have to get a big palm Braun. Or feather.
Eric Readinger
30:53
You always pick the worst palm fronds. Right, right. All right.
1
Speaker 1
30:59
Maybe like a work old data of hot food. You're going to talk in your
Eric Readinger
31:05
selection what? Or all
1
Speaker 1
31:08
or like, installing fans that look nice, but don't really get any circulation. You know, like the old days
Eric Readinger
31:17
I feel like all the fans are good fans like move the ship. Every detective
1
Speaker 1
31:21
in the south in a movie has a slow fan. Right? Not
Eric Readinger
31:25
really doing any. It's like he's smoking cigarettes and sweating, right? It's like, what is that on the table? Or that big ass fan that you're not from around here? Or
1
Speaker 1
31:33
you go to a mansion. It's just a big fan that slowly moving? You're like, what's that for? Yeah. Why are
Eric Readinger
31:40
we about to take off?
1
Speaker 1
31:43
But one I like to ask and you kind of hit it. Why I like to ask and I kind of fell into this one on the dating apps? Because just going high. Like the first match of someone's yeah, there's no good way to be. There's no like, I tried to like figure out a line I could write that would be funny enough that I could just put it out there but
2
Speaker 2
32:06
it's out. There's nothing there's just Oh, give a shit.
1
Speaker 1
32:10
I mean, when you're in the dating apps for a minute. What do you just go hey, like the wave emoji?
Eric Readinger
32:15
Hello. give up so easily.
1
Speaker 1
32:19
Yeah, it's a lot of work. But it's gotten me some results. I do look at it like a marketing funnel for leads. I just asked what do you like better cake or pie? Now what I've stumbled into is a great psychological kind of test. It's like a Rorschach test.
Eric Readinger
32:40
Sure. Because they're gonna immediately think, is he asking this because he thinks I'm fat?
32:45
No, no, that's never come up once
Eric Readinger
32:48
it come up, but it's in their head. Now why is he asking this? What does my answer say about it know?
1
Speaker 1
32:57
What kind of pie or what kind of cake and you're like, okay, they're kind of a perfectionist. They're analytical. Like you can kind of break it down like, and trust me. I've done a lot of these. Because it's like, it's just almost like, I'm just automated bot in the beginning of these. Sure. And I just go no, I want it to be scalable. Yeah, I want I want to see how they arrive at the answer. Now hedge hedge answers cheescake kind of right in the middle. Kind of a cop out right? Right. So that's a hedge answer. Some people just will say something a third option that's completely off the reservation I like ribs right? So that's it. Okay. doesn't follow my instructions
Eric Readinger
33:45
doesn't take teaching very well like
33:47
weight control over
1
Speaker 1
33:50
some people will and then I have a backup joke answer sometimes I like to put up the like pie way better. And I I sussed people out that choose cake because I don't want children. I don't want to date a child. That joke doesn't go that way every time. Yeah,
Eric Readinger
34:09
that's hard for no reason.
34:11
Cake is for children.
Eric Readinger
34:16
To go plan to Disney plus happy big baby. Yeah, why
1
Speaker 1
34:19
don't you watch High School Musical daughters whose pie God grow up. My pie kicks this shit out of cake. But the best cake beats the best pie. Okay, man, we've really covered some ground. does that even mean? That the best cake beats the best pie. But
Eric Readinger
34:37
that's because you have a favorite cake in mind. Yeah.
1
Speaker 1
34:42
Yeah, it's obviously not fact. I'm just can we do the tastebuds? Just argue about food? Yeah, we listen to that. No, it's Jonah Rosa and Sal vulcano. And they just argue like, loudly about like, okay,
Eric Readinger
34:57
I can get down on that. Oh, dude, it's great. I mean, And listening to because it gets emotional between the two of them. I've been listening to the How can you say that
35:04
about cheese puffs? Oh, they're
Eric Readinger
35:07
talking about not even good food.
1
Speaker 1
35:09
They switch it up they had was the eggplant parmesan versus stuffed mushrooms this week.
Eric Readinger
35:17
weaponised Jeremy corbello, the guy who did the Bob Lazar UFO thing. Got a podcast with George Knapp. It's really fun talking about UFOs it's really fun. That
1
Speaker 1
35:32
I've got one little story in the middle. Okay, well, wait, I gotta figure out if this is funny enough for onstage later,
Eric Readinger
35:40
sir. Let's subtract our listeners to it for Well,
1
Speaker 1
35:42
I know you're not gonna laugh now for that setup. But I was trying to be a good son on Mother's Day. Deliver flowers to my mom. And I'm like, I'm gonna get you guys a Roku TV. And I'm going to install it. And it was a pain in the ass. Turns out, oh, their internet router wasn't even on. I didn't even know that for an hour. I was like, why can I get a signal? What's going on? They have DSL. Did you know you could still DSL?
Eric Readinger
36:12
No, they have not Starlink.
1
Speaker 1
36:15
phone jack that is a splitter. So you can have another you can have a landline? And DSL. Wow. And I was like, Well,
Eric Readinger
36:25
I'd be like, how much are you paying per month for this? Because they should be paying you some kind of science experiment for how long have you asked? You know,
1
Speaker 1
36:33
when I talked about years ago, I got her off AOL for pennies for that she's still paying for it.
3
Speaker 3
36:37
Wow. Like keep sending me. I'm like Mom, stop.
36:43
You know, it's free, like free
Eric Readinger
36:45
from email addresses. Do you want like get you 20 and 20 minutes? I will
1
Speaker 1
36:50
I will do that. I will. I will migrate everything I will
Eric Readinger
36:53
call AOL cancel your subscription. So.
1
Speaker 1
36:57
So I'm trying to hook this Roku up. And it's a pain in the ass because she shares are more that's built into the wall. You can't really get a cable to like, go through these. Cool. Yeah. Good times. I'm getting Pez on my Do you have a power strip? We need another plug. She's like, what? And we're going back and forth just yelling in between rooms. And I'm like, she walks in the room. She's like, Why are you yelling? Oh my god, do you have your hearing aids? And she's like, No, why would I have them in? And I'm like, what? She goes, Oh, if I'm alone, why would I have a man? It was like,
Eric Readinger
37:39
I'm here. In my 60s.
1
Speaker 1
37:41
I'm here. I'm your baby boy dead the whole time. So basically, she just did the biggest hate of all times, either. Like, you're not worth it.
Eric Readinger
37:49
Right? You're not worth the battery power or my hearing aids or and I don't really want to hear what you have to say anyone would ever stop talking.
37:56
I mean, different to your existence.
37:57
Kids these days,
1
Speaker 1
37:59
blah, blah, blah. I told I told my friend that I had a call friend that's hearing impaired. And she was like that. That's really funny that the hearing community would like that. Like, well, that's gonna be tough.
Eric Readinger
38:14
I'm gonna get them captions going. But
1
Speaker 1
38:18
yeah. Oh, and then I set it up. I got it working. Just barely. And I was like, I've been trying to get them to watch the dark night. My parents. I'm like, You guys love movies. This is like a perfect movie. And
Eric Readinger
38:29
you put it on?
1
Speaker 1
38:30
I put it on? No, I put it on. Get up and walk away. Just watch. Just watch the first scene. Just watch William Fincher. You'd like that guy. You know whose money this is? You guys are dead, you know? And then comes with the shotgun sawed off shotgun. Right? I'm like, isn't this a cool puzzle of all these jokers shooting each other? And he gets out and she's like,
Eric Readinger
38:53
Yeah, it's nice honey.
1
Speaker 1
38:55
And then I made her watch the second scene of of not wearing hockey pads. And then she was like, This is great. I really want to watch the rest of it. I was like, Yes. And then later she's like, but I can't. Yeah, she's like, I'm making cookies right now. So because we I make these cookies for the sake of
Eric Readinger
39:15
real people coming over soon. I have people I care about coming right people that I'll put my hearing aids in for them.
1
Speaker 1
39:21
And I was like, you'll never you're never gonna get back to Roker. The input button on the TV is a bridge too far.
Eric Readinger
39:29
Is Broken is the name of the superhero, honey.
39:32
All right. All right. That does it. Okay.
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Summary
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Sponsor: Call Rail. (0:00)
What’s on the calendar? (4:18)
Your life is a lie. (7:50)
What else is on? High school musicals. (12:41)
Don’t do that shit, you idiot. (18:30)
What’s becoming hard on LinkedIn messages? (22:22)
Would you rather have balls for your ears or your nose? (27:31)
Dating apps are like a marketing funnel for leads. (31:43)
On stage with his mom. (35:34)
